A new feeling

A new feeling, new sensation. I’m thinking about everything and nothing at all. My brain is tranquil, my mind is calm. No worries, no news, no bitterness.  My day consists of working and hanging out with him. Once in a while I’m taking myself to Stockholm.

Even though things are not clear (which once could have been a terrible thing for me – causing an increase in my emotional brain activity 100 times more then usual), I’m ok with it. I don’t mind, cause I feel good about it. I don’t really know what he wants, if he wants and how he wants it to be, but for now I enjoy just buying a bottle of good wine, crashing on his sofa with a good movie, he is close to me, and the calmness and tranquility just descend on me from above. I feel good, he makes me feel good. Stopping the movie once in a wile, he’s asking me questions. Maybe to test me and my internal world for his benefit, maybe just because of his interest. I don’t know and frankly – I don’t care. I feel good. Things are getting better now. I’m happy. And you – thank you for being like that. I’ve never imagined it would be like that. Thanks for your interest, thanks for being there. Thanks for crying in the middle of the movie because of the emotional scene, and thanks for not trying to hide it. It’s sweet, it’s what I've been looking for.